If you want to have a life-long marriage, there are a few conversations that should be done before the big day arrives. Family law attornies are often asked what can couples do before they marry so their marriage can be a lasting union? Family law attorney’s work with couples who have decided to commit to marriage as well as those who are on prenuptial agreements.
It has been said that love is blind. However, I believe it is important to remove the romantic blinders for a while. There are a few conversations that you should have with your partner before you marry. They will help each of you to remain on track for a successful marriage. Such conversations will give the two of you opportunity to be aware of each other’s expectations. You will also have developed a healthy foundation for when problems occur during marriage.
Most people don’t enjoy serious talks, particularly when it comes to money. However, there are ways to work around the hassle’s. Try to see this talk as an opportunity to bond with each other on a deeper level. It can be uncomfortable bringing up that you want to have these conversations. It is better to bring this out in the open as soon as possible. Look at it as a team-building exercise. The talk should happen before or after an activity you have done together. Perhaps after you have enjoyed a meal at a restaurant you have been wanting to try, or after a walk, or after you have driven somewhere.
These conversations should be about the following:
Intimacy and Sex
Most people enjoy this conversation. Begin this talk by sharing a few things with your partner. These things could involve, role-playing fantasies, positions, techniques or special words. Tell your partner what you enjoy about lovemaking. They should also know how it makes you feel when the two of you make love. Some of the things that get your partner excited, may come as a surprise to you. As a result of this talk, it should be natural to end up talking about what you want to explore. Make a commitment to keep on telling each other what puts you off, and what your sexual desires are.
Once this conversation has been had, it will be easier to tell each other how you feel. If sex stops and gets forgotten about, always speak up about it. Two complaints I have heard from those who are getting divorced include family or career coming before sex, or sex becoming a routine.
Money matters are one of the main topics that couples argue over. Money can also cause couples to divorce. Be sure to have a discussion about your ten year plan and discuss any financial goals you may have. However, the practical aspects of money must be talked about. Decisions will need to be made. These include whether or not you have individual or joint bank accounts and how much money will stay in them or go into other accounts. Will you have accounts for big purchases, bills, or mutual expenses? We can help couples in prenuptial agreements to answer these questions.
Developing a budget and individual saving methods should also be discussed. Particularly if one is a spender, and the other a saver. Come up with expectations about your money now. This will prevent future arguments. You will also be able to work as a team to build a secure financial future.
Vision of the Future
All couples should have a ten-year plan. Successful businesses and business workers always have a defined vision of their future. Make sure that you are united when it comes to achieving goals. This gives the two of you a common purpose. When developing your plan, think about the kind of home you want. Where do you want to be living in ten years time? Will there be enough room in the house for children? Do you prefer to rent rather than buy? Getting to know each others values and aspirations will help you to better position yourselves to achieve the goals you each have. Family, leisure time, money and community are other things that should be included in your plan.
Write It Down
Always write down a few important ideas that came out of your conversations. Document these notes so that they can be referred to at least once a year. It is normal for couples to find things they first thought important, which become less important as time goes on. New issues may come up. Writing these things down will recapture the joy you both felt as you prepared to commit to each other through marriage.
Sourced from: sheknows
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