It has been said that love is blind. However, prior to getting married, the romantic blinders should be removed for a while. If you genuinely want to have a life-long marriage, there are a few conversations to have before tying the knot. They will help each of you to remain on track for a successful marriage. Such conversations will provide both you the opportunity to be aware of each other’s expectations. You will also have developed a healthy foundation for when problems occur during marriage as they inevitably will.
It is difficult to have these types of discussions, but any serious conversion is always going to be a challenge, but it is better to have them prior to marriage rather than dealing with them afterwards. In fact, many family law attorneys are often asked what can couples do before they marry to have a long-lasting union? Not surprisingly, it comes down to having those discussions so both of you are setting the terms or foundation that is going to require both of you to change and adapt to each other. That doesn’t mean having a pre-nuptial agreement but forming a foundation upon which your relationship with each other can evolve.
It is better to bring this out in the open as soon as possible. Look at it as a team-building exercise. The talk should happen before or after an activity you have done together. Perhaps after you have enjoyed a meal at a restaurant you have been wanting to try, after a walk, or after you have driven somewhere.
These conversations should be about the following.
Intimacy
Most people enjoy this conversation. Begin this talk by sharing a few things with your partner. These things could involve, role-playing fantasies, positions, techniques, or special words. Tell your partner what you enjoy about lovemaking. They should also know how it makes you feel when the two of you make love. Some of the things that get your partner excited may come as a surprise to you. As a result of this talk, it should be natural to end up talking about what you want to explore. Make a commitment to keep on telling each other what puts you off and what your sexual desires are.
Once you’ve had this conversation, it will be easier to tell each other how you feel.
Money Matters – Conversations to Have Before Tying the Knot
Money matters are one of the main topics that couples argue over. Money can also cause couples to divorce. Be sure to discuss your ten-year plan and discuss any financial goals you may have. However, the practical aspects of money must be talked about. Decisions will need to be made. These include whether you have individual or joint bank accounts and how much money will stay in them or go into other accounts. Will you have accounts for big purchases, bills, or mutual expenses?
Developing a budget and individual saving methods should also be discussed. Particularly if one of you is a spender and the other a saver. Come up with expectations about your money now. This will prevent future arguments. You will also be able to work as a team to build a secure financial future.
Vision of the Future
All couples should have a ten-year plan. Successful businesses and business workers always have a defined vision of their future. Make sure that you are united when it comes to achieving goals. This gives the two of you a common purpose. When developing your plan, think about the kind of home you want. Where do you want to be living in ten years’ time? Will there be enough room in the house for children? Do you prefer to rent rather than buy? Getting to know each other’s values and aspirations will help you to better position yourselves to achieve the goals you each have. Family, leisure time, money and community are other things that should be included in your plan.
Family – Conversations to Have Before Tying the Knot
Part of your collective vision of the future should be a discussion about children. This is an important step for any couple. Having children is a great responsibility, both financially as well as the commitment to raising them. If you’re both not on the same page about having children, you should know that right away. If one of you wants to have children and the other doesn’t, that presents a potentially huge issue down the road.
Write It Down – Conversations to Have Before Tying the Knot
Always write down a few important ideas that came out of your conversations. Document these notes so that they can be referred to at least once a year. It is normal for couples to find things they first thought important, which become less important as time goes on. New issues may come up. Writing these things down will recapture the joy you both felt as you prepared to commit to each other through marriage.
Image source: Thinkstock/teksomolika